All of 2017, people kept praying and prophesying to my husband that he would recieve a promotion. We kept trying to figure out how that was possible since there was no position directly above him at his job that would allow him to do the same work.

On the morning of October 27th, my family went to the funeral home for a private viewing of my husband’s body. This particular morning was the hardest for me. I felt torment, guilt, and extreme sadness. I was feeling like it was all my fault. I had somehow missed something important and if I had just did something different, I could have prevented this. I was literally apologizing to my children and they were responding, "It is not your fault."

While at the funeral home, I went into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. I whispered under my breath, “Lord, help me.” I had been carrying my husband’s journal in my purse just to have something personal of his on me. When I prayed that simple prayer, a thought came to my heart/mind “Open up his journal.” I didn’t want to do this. I felt that I was too on the edge and I could not take any chances. However, again I felt an impression and unction to open up the journal.

Desperate for any comfort and wondering if this was a "God idea," I closed my eyes and put my thumbs in pages and just opened it up to a random page. When I opened my eyes, I looked down and saw these pages...

Almost a year to the date, this entry was written on October 28, 2014. It reads:

"Revelation 21:2-4

God shall wipe away tears from their eyes. No sorrow, no crying, no pain.

- 3 gates N, S, & W

-12 foundations, names of 12 apostles

-pure gold like clear glass

-12 gates of pearls

-Streets of pure gold, transparent glass

No sun, nor moon for the glory of God lightened it. Jesus is the light of that city.

-pure river water of life

-tree of life - leaves for the healing of the nations

-no night

We need to be reminded of heaven.

We bow our will to a sovereign God. Stay in your lane. Sin to think you know as much as God.

If God didn't allow him to stay its for a reason.

Psalm 90:12 - So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom."

I closed the journal. I took a deep breath and said, "Okay, God." I had peace after that moment knowing that Kenneth Hutchinson got his promotion.

#Heaven #grief #grace #faith

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